Jokey Smurf (Empath stories)/Favorite lines
Brainy: Jokey Smurf, why don't you listen to the voice of reason for a change? Jokey: Shhh, be quiet, Brainy, I'm trying to listen to the voice of reason. Tapper: Excuse me, is this seat saved? Jokey: No, but I bet you've been praying for it. Greedy (after a spaghetti dinner): Does my breath smurf of garlic? Jokey: No, my face always smurfs green around this time of day. Chatty: Does my talking bother you? Jokey: Not as much as the fact that you're still smurfing it means that you're alive. Smurf: Hey, Jokey, are you smurfing a bath? Jokey: No, I'm going to leave it right where I found it. Hefty: I'm going to smurf a few words with you about your "surprises"! Jokey: Yeah, I know how you talk: punch first, smurf questions later. Hefty: How would you like to smurf a knuckle sandwich? Jokey: With lots of bread and some mustard on it. Smurfette: Oh, Jokey, smurf something sweet to me. Jokey: Smurfberry pie. Fisher: You wouldn't guess how big the fish actually was. Jokey: Do you still have room for it along with your other invisible fish trophies? Tapper: You should smurf a prayer before you eat. Jokey: What for? Greedy's always a good cook! Dabbler: Aha! I've finally figured out what Grouchy's blood type actually is! Jokey: Uh...B-negative? Brainy: It seems that everything I say to you smurfs in one ear and smurfs out the other. Jokey: Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears. Brainy: Can any of you visualize what I'm trying to say here? Jokey: I'm already visualizing the tape over your mouth. Amore: I'm waiting for Smurfette to smurf me a sign. Jokey: She's already given you one, loverboy! It reads STOP! Smurf: Something smells funny around here. Jokey: It must be the clown farts. I always smurf those. Smurf: Hey, Jokey, is that your new hat? Jokey: No, my old hat always smurfs like this whenever I think about Smurfette. Brainy: The next topic for my speech will be about space. Jokey: Good, then I'm sure your fellow Smurfs will smurf plenty of room for you to discuss it. Handy: My new furnace works! All I needed was the right amount of coke. Jokey: I guess things smurf better with coke. Brainy: You must be out of your mind. Jokey: As long as I'm out of yours, I'm happy. Vanity: Doesn't my skin smurf off such a glow? Jokey: I don't know whether to call it radiant or radioactive. Greedy: Are you going to eat that, Jokey? Jokey: Actually, I'm saving it for one of Papa Smurf's experiments. Brainy: I don't know why more people don't listen to me. Jokey: You must be suffering from Clue Deficit Disorder. Brainy: Isn't it amazing how Empath is able to read minds? Jokey: I'm not sure how he is able to read yours, given that the print is so small. Smurflings: Yay! School's out! Jokey: You know what they smurf...nothing succeeds like recess! Brainy: I have something important I need to smurf with you. Jokey: I'm rather busy. Can I ignore you some other time? Brainy: I have just changed my mind. Jokey: Wow, what a miracle! I hope it smurfs better than your old one. Brainy: I hope my little speech has smurfed you something to think about. Jokey: It sure did. All throughout, I was thinking, "When is it going to end?" Brainy: Am I really that boring? Jokey: Of course not! Everybody closes their eyes and snores whenever they find what you have to say interesting. Clumsy: Every Smurf says that I dance like I have two left feet. Jokey: That's not true, Clumsy. You always had two right feet. Harmony: I truly have a gift for singing. Jokey: How about I give you one for stopping? Hefty: Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. Jokey: I'd rather fight fire with water. Brainy: Okay, everybody, it's time for "Sing Along With Brainy". Jokey: "If I had a hammer..." Brainy: You know, a thought just crossed my mind the other day. Jokey: It must have been a long and lonely journey. Brainy: You're trying to make a monkey out of me! Jokey: Don't smurf at me! I can't take all the credit for it! Brainy: Just to let you know, I'm nobody's fool. Jokey: Okay, let's see if somebody will adopt you. Brainy: I happen to have the perfect solution to everybody's problem. Jokey: If it's for insomnia, please feel free to use it. Brainy: I can't believe it! I make a bunch of suggestions and nobody's carrying them out! Jokey: That's where you're wrong! See what Sloppy is doing over there? Smurf: Dimwitty is a terrible cook! He used roses in the salad and now every Smurf is sick from eating it! Jokey: I had a feeling that everything would be coming up roses. Brainy: You think I'm a complete idiot, don't you? Jokey: Not really. I'd say you're working hard enough to be a complete idiot. Brainy: Just remember that I'm in charge here when Papa Smurf is away. Jokey: Then you should join the military. You're already a major pain in the smurf. Sneaky: I want to get under Smurfette's hat. Jokey: You're already getting under her skin. Nudie: But every Smurf wants to see more of me. Jokey: There really isn't any more of you to see. Amore: Smurfette must have magic powers. Jokey: It's too bad she can't make you disappear. Hefty: Nothing smurfs me into good shape like a couple of big dumbbells. Jokey: Unless they happen to be Clumsy and Dimwitty. Sneaky: I want to see Smurfette slip into something a bit more comfortable, like nothing. Jokey: She'd want to see you slip into something a bit more comfortable, like a permanent sleep. Brainy: I can never be lost because I have a good sense of direction. Jokey: You can never be lost because every Smurf tells you where to go. Brainy: You can never guess what my IQ is. Jokey: I'm smurfing that there's a minus sign attached to a very big number. Gargamel: A SMURF!!! Jokey: Gesundheit. Greedy: Let's see...what do I want to take with me...an onion, a scallion, a leek... Jokey: Oh, go take a leek. Papa Smurf: Do you think I really need a haircut? Jokey: I'll go see if I can borrow Handy's lawnsmurfer. Brainy: You're not going to call me a stupid idiot again, are you? Jokey: Why, have you graduated to being an intelligent idiot? Category:Humor Category:VicGeorge2K9's articles